Low Self-Esteem or Love?

Low Self-Esteem or Love? The Powerful Difference Often Missed

"If I become so influenced by someone that I love everything they say, feel their presence overshadowing me, and constantly crave their validation... what is this feeling?" 

"Low self-esteem."

This answer often comes as a shock. We expect to hear "love" or "devotion," but the truth is far more profound.

This powerful exchange from a novel highlights a critical psychological insight: what feels like intense admiration is often a symptom of a deeper issue.

What Does Low Self-Esteem Really Look Like?

It's more than just shyness. It manifests as:

• Considering oneself inferior.
• A complete lack of self-confidence.
• Viewing others as mountains and oneself as an insignificant ant.
• Losing your sense of self, value, and worth in another person's identity.

Admiration vs. Intimidation: Knowing The Difference

There's nothing wrong with being impressed by someone. The problem lies in how you are impressed.

The shift from healthy admiration to unhealthy intimidation is subtle and often goes unnoticed. This intimidation brings a heavy toll: heartache, a deep-seated inferiority complex, crippling self-doubt, and the utter denial of your own being.

Ask yourself: Where is the justice in erasing yourself? In dismissing your own virtues as flaws, all under the shadow of someone else's influence or love?

The Path to Healthy Relationships: Equality First

The solution isn't to stop appreciating people. Good, inspiring people truly exist. The key is to change how you value them and yourself.

1. Practice Self-Love: Learn to love yourself first. Give yourself importance.
2. Become Resilient: Strengthen your heart and mind. Your emotional well-being is your priority.
3. Adopt, Don't Worship: The best way to honor someone's goodness is to adopt their positive qualities, not to place them on a pedestal.
4. Seek Equality, Not Elevation: You can like someone, feel connected, and admire them—but do it from a place of mutual respect. The goal is not to look up at them longingly, but to stand beside them as an equal.

Imagine a connection where: "You are both at the same height, looking each other in the eye, conversing about mutual interests as two confident, dignified individuals."

That is the goal. Complete equality. No influencer and influenced. Just two whole people sharing a connection. Only then can you truly enjoy genuine liking, healthy attachment, and authentic respect.

— Bint-e-Naseer